Who Are YOU Looking At?

I woke up today in pain.  Still not fully awake, I struggled to clear my head, open my eyes and find the source of the pain.  I realised I was lying on my side and that a sharp pain was occurring repeatedly on one side of my body.  I opened my eyes to see….my son balancing himself on my side and jumping up and down.  Ouch.  That’s my son, always looking for new, creative ways to wake me up.  Thanks boy…

Pain seems to be following me this week.   Besides my son jumping up and down on my side which really hurt by the way, last night, I managed to hit myself in the head with a car door.  Quite embarrassing really, lucky it was dark and not too many people were around.  At the time it didn’t hurt but today it does.  A lot.  So straight after that mishap, Mr. Claire brought me into his place of work where everyone proceeded to stare at me, making me wonder if they had spotted me whacking a car door off the side of my head.

Why do people stare?  I mean, I look at people but I hope I don’t stop what I’m doing, stand still with a slightly gaping mouth and nearly lose my eyeballs in an attempt to stare as closely at a person as possible.  It makes me feel quite uncomfortable, not losing my eyeballs you understand, being stared at I mean.  I constantly felt like something was on my face and nobody was telling me.   I pretended I didn’t notice but by the time we left, I felt a bit insecure.  Even Mr. Claire had noticed and he notices nothing.  Anyway, it’s not important, maybe people are interested in workmates other halves.  Maybe I’ve been out of work for too long and I’m out of the loop 🙂  Do you stare?  Are you so bored at work that a new face is the highlight of your day? 🙂  It sort of reminds me of school and a dog would run into the yard or be led somehow sneak into the school and everyone would run to the window pointing and screaming with glee.  Mayhem would ensue. 

Or, this generally happened in my secondary school because junkies and dealers used to escape from an abandoned house over the wall and run through our school to get away from the police, people who didn’t attend the school would saunter through the grounds / run along the wall.  I went to a Catholic all girls school that had once been run by nuns and had a very bad name because of abuse and things like that but today isn’t that day.  My point is there were no boys in the school and while I was there the only men were the occasional substitute teachers.  Lots of hormones running around, male teachers didn’t last long.  So seeing a boy (even if he was a junkie, thief or drug dealer) would cause whole classrooms of girls to scream, run to the windows, point, wave, hang out of the windows trying to get a better look.  And always, the easy most popular girl in the classroom would lean back in her chair, lift her skirt a little and say, “Jaysus, ye’d swear yis never seen a young fella before.”  Then she would make sure the lads could see her.  I loved that girl though, she always made me laugh and one day she even realised that sex doesn’t buy you love or respect.  Again, this isn’t THAT day.

So, yes, back to the intruders…the teacher would invariably run to the window and stand in front of it or pull the blinds if there was any saying things like, “Ladies!  Ignore them!  Back to work!  Can anyone tell me who the first President of Ireland was/ the french word for library/ the answer to the sum on the board?”  The older teachers would ignore the males outside, some of them even managed to maintain a red-faced dignity when the boys would approach the windows and leer in at the teachers (they always knew the teacher’s name which was kinda wierd but whatever) but they tended to say things like, “If you can’t ignore someone who obviously has no class or manners, then you’re just as bad.”

Whoever said school days were the best of your life were lying but I do have a lot of memories that still make me smirk to this day. 

On a really sad note, Mr. Claire discovered today that a 22 year old he used to work with and only spoke to last week died of a heart attack.  He’s pretty much completely in shock, such a shame.  There have been a lot of heart related deaths in Ireland over the past few years amongst very young people.  It’s getting really scary.  My heart goes out to that lad’s family and girlfriend, they must be struggling to understand what’s happened.   Mr. Claire can’t handle death so probably won’t be going to the funeral but he will pay his respects in his own way.  I’m so sorry for anyone that has gone through anything like this.  That’s all for today, I think I’ve gotten enough out of my system for one therapy session!

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6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    cardiogirl said,

    I cannot stand people who stare. It really drives me up the wall. I usually don’t make eye contact these days. I just can’t take holiday shoppers and people in a hurry, etc.

    But a couple weeks ago I was waiting in line at the grocery story and I noticed this woman a couple people ahead of us just blatantly staring at me. Oh I was in a foul mood. So I made myself stare her down with my lips pressed together. She finally gave a half-hearted smile and looked away.

    I kept staring her down until she walked away. I CANNOT STAND BEING STARED AT! Sometimes I can’ stand people. At least 3-D people. Sorry for that rant.

    So sorry to hear about that man at Mr. Claire’s workplace. I’ll keep him and his family in my prayers.

  2. 2

    clairec23 said,

    Thanks. It’s hard to think of him as a man, he was only starting out.

    I know what you mean, sometimes I stare back until they look away but I’m a bit out of practice at the moment 🙂

    That woman in the grocery store sounds a bit odd. What was the point of her staring!! It freaks me out. Sometimes I can’t stand people either but what can ya do apart from becoming a hermit and avoiding people altogether which is sort of what I already do 🙂

  3. 3

    bluesleepy said,

    Yeeesh I am so sorry to hear about that young man. What a shame.

    I don’t intentionally try to look at people. But then I glance at someone at they’re looking at me. So I smile at them. Most of the time people smile back, but I’ve run into folks who just stare at me like I’ve just sprouted a third head. Then they just turn away. And I think to myself, boy — that’s one angry, sad little person.

    PS — I was just checking out WordPress’s new templates, and I saw this one and was *this close* to switching over to it! I like it!!

  4. 4

    clairec23 said,

    A couple of people have said that about the template! My other blog is really dark so this one is just bright and nice to look at after staring at the other one 🙂

  5. 5

    I’m so sorry to hear about Mr. Claire’s friend.

    I loved your stories of your school days 🙂 Wasn’t there a children’s poem about the day a dog comes into school? Or maybe it’s just a thing a lot of people seem to remember because all the kids go crazy?!

  6. 6

    clairec23 said,

    There has to have been something like that because it’s something nearly everyone knows about! I remember we used to tempt the local dogs with our lunches and we would try and sneak a dog in amongst the crowd then the vice principal would always cop on straight away and chase the dog away with a brush. Mission Impossible had nothing on us brainiacs 🙂

    I have a bebo page and a good few people from school have gotten in touch with me through it but the only things we can remember are stuff like that. That and making teachers cry 🙂


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