Personal Blogs

I’ve been wondering when personal blogging gets too personal.  Is that even possible?  My last post was pretty personal yet I still held back a good deal.  I was completely honest but there were things that I just couldn’t put into words.  It’s made me wonder whether getting a bit personal is a good idea or not.  There are lots of things I’d love to say to people, not say to them, more like talk about with them but they aren’t willing to talk about those things so I’m left with them floating around in my head.   Let’s just say it’s not good to leave Claire with things floating around in her head…

 I have a bebo page with some short stories on it.  Just a couple of random short stories I typed out at one stage.  I had planned on leaving it at that because they were a bit rubbish and I feel uncomfortable about people reading my stuff although I still leave the link in places, I don’t really think things through…  Even with my blogs, I feel nervous when I post on my blogs…I get anxious about people reading my opinions.  The same goes for when I leave comments, I tend to feel horrible and I don’t know really know why.   Short stories – yeah, so I decided to leave them at that then one day, I had a little bit of a memory and I picked up the keyboard as quick as possible, opened Word and wrote this really personal memory down and…posted it on the Internet for the world to see. 

 I should take it down…I know I should, the story would have consequences if the wrong person read it but I’m a bit stubborn about it.  I guess when I’ve been told to shut up about things for so long, eventually I have to do something about it.   Even something silly and pointless.  It’s not that the details within the story are so bad…they are really small and pretty much vague glimpses of a bigger picture but if I was capable of sharing little glimpses, then maybe I would be capable of sharing all of the details too.  I’m torn between feeling guilty and stubborn.  I should be able to say these things but people could get hurt from them and a lot of time has passed for so many things, would there really be a point in bringing them up now?  Even when nobody is listening?

I even hold back when I write stories that nobody else is ever going to see.  That can’t be right…I find it very difficult to write about things that have actually happened in my life but surely that should be the easiest thing of all to write about.  I don’t know why I have such a block about it but even though I know full well I’m the only one who will see it, I still just can’t get the words out.   I suppose that’s partly why I’m so surprised (and so stubborn) about that certain story.

I sometimes wonder why I could leave that particular story where it is and yet still never talk about really personal things on my blogs.   Some small part of me wants very badly to tell the world about certain things and the rest of me really wants to protect people from it.  I have always been full of contradictions, I realise that but maybe I’ve had too much time to mull things over lately because a lot of stuff has been playing on my mind.

There are some things that I’m really, truely, endlessly sad about and would love to talk about with people but what would be the point?  Nobody can take things away or make things better so why burden other people with problems that can’t be resolved?  Sometimes I think that nobody can ever say the right thing when a person has something inside that’s constantly there that makes them hurt.  Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a serious illness or being the victim of abuse or any other sort of problem, millions of people go through really bad things in life but do any of them ever know what to say to someone else?

Yes, yesterday’s post was personal but it was all about me.  It was all about my wrong doings, my mistakes.  If I were to write about a lot of the things I want to say, I would have to point out the mistakes of others and is it up to me to do that?  I don’t think so.  I would be shaming people anonymously but I don’t think that’s really the issue.  Maybe I don’t have the right to tell my stories because they are other people’s stories as well.  That’s the thing about personal blogs, where is the line that you’re not supposed to cross?  Is getting personal a bad thing?

I really enjoyed writing that post yesterday though and the 7 random facts post too.  Even though I’m questioning myself today about getting personal, it was really nice to share some things with you all.  Thanks for reading through yet another waffley post…I’ll try and learn to be concise some day…;)

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6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    bluesleepy said,

    I am still catching up on blogs after being gone for the weekend with no internet access. I have problems like you’re talking about — what to write, what to say, how much to reveal… I read other blogs where they let it all hang out, and I wonder why I can’t do that! But every time I do, it comes out sounding so petty and trite. It’s stupid. So I go off on another tangent and post that. I censor myself heavily, and sometimes I wish I wouldn’t.

    I would say to write what you feel comfortable writing. They’re your stories, first and foremost.

  2. 2

    I think we all grapple with this issue sometimes… where to draw the line. Even though I write about my innermost thoughts and feelings and secrets and exchanges with Baddie, I still know where my line is. For example, I have rarely written about our sex life, and when I have, I haven’t gone into any real detail. I supposed for me that is ‘my line’ of what I feel would be taking it too far. I don’t know whether that is because of some internal Catholic thing, because Baddie is very discreet about these things or what. I guess we just all have ro know our own limits and be comfortable with them.

    This was very thought-provoking. Like bluesleepy said, do what you feel comfortable with..

  3. 3

    melissa said,

    there was a discussion going on at nablopomo…about the exact thing you are talking about. how personal do you get on your blog. i think that you go for what you are comfortable with. some people have to take into consideration who is reading their blog. i have my mom reading mine so…i don’t go places where i’d sometimes like to go. but really, it totally depends on you and how far you are willing to go and what you want your readers to know about you and the image you want to portray.
    you’re a really good writer. you should be proud of that. and, you are able to balance being a mom and keeping a bunch of blogs!
    well, just my little old opinion for you!
    hope you’re having a good night!

  4. 4

    clairec23 said,

    Thanks for the comments…I think you’re all right, it should be what you’re comfortable with. I think that maybe I think about other people too much, I suppose they don’t have to read it if it makes them uncomfortable or whatever.

    I love reading other people’s personal blogs, I never really feel like aw no, I wish they hadn’t told me that one. I enjoy hearing about other people’s lives, good or bad but I’d hate it if someone was upset by something I wrote.

    I guess I’m just thinking aloud a bit in this post!

  5. 5

    c.a. Marks said,

    I know what you mean about pushing the envelope on personal blogging. I was especially weary of my last post at my place. There is a lot more I could blog but I do hold back quite a bit. Good topic.

  6. 6

    clairec23 said,

    You do seem to hold back a bit. I was delighted to see your latest post. It just felt like I got to know you a little bit better. It can be a little cringeworthy to think that people are going to read your innermost thoughts but sometimes that’s what people like to read!


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