Archive for christmas

Moving House In Pain

Yesterday, myself and Mr. Claire were talking and on the spur of the moment, without thinking even five minutes into the future, he got me hosting and the like.  I spent the whole day looking at a complete copy of this blog on the wrong another domain name and contemplated if I really should move house.  Just to point out, I had no clue what I was doing and did things the long, hard, wrong way.  Obviously.  This is me.  He kept saying to me, we’ll get somebody to do it for you.  I’m stubborn.  I don’t like that kind of help.   Regardless of this, it just didn’t feel right.  So eventually, I decided to stay here and use the hosting and the like to learn how to do everything myself with a test site.  I’m an idiot.  I know this.  I hate when things aren’t perfect and I hate when I don’t feel at home.  I can’t read my posts over because I know I’ll just edit them constantly.  Isn’t that sad?  And I won’t comment on a blog more than once that doesn’t feel…comfy.  I have a wierd mind sometimes, I admit it.

 So, basically, I wanted to tell you that I made a decision that will make absolutely no difference to your lives 🙂

It is now the 10th of December and my carefully thought out Christmas shopping plan has pretty much fallen apart.  Ah well.  I can avoid everyone over Christmas and shop in January if I have to 🙂  Mr. Claire has been out of work since Thursday because he hurt his back.  He’s pretty useless to have around at the moment.  (Damnit, just remembered he won’t ever read that so I’m going to have to tell him I said it instead.  It just loses some of its effect that way.  I keep telling him I have no sympathy for his pain because he didn’t for me both times I was pregnant.  He will never live down the day he admitted he thought I was faking it during my first pregnancy.  Toerag.  I had morning sickness nearly every single day I was pregnant and a pinched nerve in my back.  It wasn’t exactly fun.

Sometimes we play argue over what hurts more and I always say nothing can beat childbirth.  But who can tell?  I’d love for just one man to get pregnant and give birth just so we can compare pain levels.  Maybe they could handle it better.  I doubt it though.  Women are pretty much preparing for it their whole lives while men tend to get shot down by a cold.  Oh, yes I can generalize.  It’s my blog.

As for the most excellent driving machine that keeps cutting out, our local mechanic was able to guess exactly what car we had just by the description of the problem yet he can’t fix it and told us to go elsewhere.  Wtf?  I was always under the impression that mechanics could solve any car problem but apparently not.  Apparently, some of them must be specialists.  Who knew?  I used to work in a place that taught mechanics.  My boss there had planned on turning me into a computer teacher but I left before I was old enough.  I know some of you are sniggering at the thoughts of me teaching computers but back then I hadn’t donated my brain cells to my children.  🙂  Isn’t it strange though how life can so quickly change?  One event made me leave that job, I wonder what I would be doing if I had stayed there.  Is there anything you’ve done that you wonder what would have happened had you made a different choice?

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Getting Lost at Home

Yesterday was the freakiest day ever.  We had planned on going Christmas shopping early with the kids as well as bringing them to see Santy but Mr. Claire changed his mind because the Little Man didn’t have his haircut.  Not that it would make much difference even when the child’s hair is cut it still manages to look moppy.  So at the last minute, he asked his family to babysit while we went out shopping for the kid’s toys and clothes for Christmas.  They agreed (they don’t see the kids often) so we set out on the long drive there.  They live in the next county and it usually takes about an hour and a half or two hours at most to get there.

So, we started driving, I kept saying that I had a baaaad feeling about driving that day.   The car started its new trick of cutting out every time he braked and he soon realised that the traffic was…not good.  So he does what every man I know does.  Finds a different way to go.  Why is that most men can’t sit still in a bit of traffic, they have to keep moving?  No matter how long it takes them, they won’t just sit there and wait for a couple of minutes, they have to try every single alternative option.  As long as they’re moving, they’re happy.  Even if the moving consists of reversing and turning around only to end up in the place with began!  It’s very annoying because without fail, it takes longer than it would have if we had just waited.

So after about 20minutes of ducking and diving around traffic jams, Mr. Claire decides to go a brand new way.  And gets lost.  Can I just say that it is hard to get lost between Dublin and Kildare.  I hate asking for directions but I was willing to stop by some coppers and ask them the way.  “No,” he growled back at me.  Sorrrrreeeeeee!

Eventually (after quite a few false starts) things begin to look familiar to him and we find ourselves on  the right route to Kildare.  Then the heavens decide to open.  The rain lashed down on us.  I have never been scared in a car with Mr. Claire before but I have never experienced anything like yesterday!  The cars in front were unleashing waves of puddles that were lashing against the windscreen.  You should have seen his little face concentrating.   Bless!  Mucky water continuously spraying against the windscreen does not equal safety.  And myself and the Little Man weren’t improving matters by singing, “We better run, run, run, the storm is on it’s way,” over and over and over again.  Mr. Claire retaliated by refusing to play any cd other than Garth Brooks for the whole day.  I learned my lesson…

So at about 5pm we finally got to his mother’s house.  He made us walk through mucky grass to get to her front door.  Toerag.

We dropped the kids off, as usual, the Little Man was ecstatic at getting away from me while the Princess screamed her head off and had to be forcibly removed from my person.  Free at last, Mr. Claire and I frolicked to the car jumping for joy.  We went to Newbridge and bought the most amazing clothes for the Princess.  She’s so freaking cute in them.  Not the point!  A right dozebag pulled out in the middle of the road right in front of ongoing traffic.  I thought Mr. Claire was going to get out and be all bionic man and chase the car down the road in a rage.  He was really pissed because we missed crashing into the back of that eejit’s car by inches.  A chorus of beeping made that car shoot down the road away from everyone.  We went to Naas and bought toys in Smyths.  It was a bit crap.  I’m very disappointed.  I can’t get the stupid boys version of the Little Tykes camera I planned to get him.  Everywhere only stocks poxy pink ones.  Do they think boys don’t like taking photos?  Toerags.

The dinner Mr. Claire had promised me that morning ended up being in a chipper but it was lovely so I’m not going to complain.  Anyway, we set off from Naas to Kildare Town.  From where Mr. Claire used to work to where Mr. Claire used to live.  And he managed to get lost.   Again.

I don’t fecking know how the hell he managed to get lost between Naas and Kildare Town.  I don’t know how many miles apart they are but they are close and it’s like one straight road through!  Even I know my way and I am shit at directions!!  We ended up on this long arse road that went on FOREVER.  In the wrong direction.  I started getting the feeling that we would never see our children again.  He had this horrible look on his face that plainly said, “please don’t start bitching at me right now, please!”

We eventually get ourselves off that road and discover we are miles in the wrong direction but at least we can find our way back.  So we drive through all of these poxy, bendy, twisty lanes with no light whatsoever and what does the fecking car do?  Keep cutting out, leaving us for a couple of seconds each time in the pitch black!  It was scary shit.  Mr. Claire is a great driver and managed to avoid crashing but it was a close call a good few times yesterday!  If I had been in the car with anyone else, I would have gotten out and walked.  I have never been scared in the car with Mr. Claire before but disaster was chasing us yesterday!

 We got back to the kids in one piece.  His family wouldn’t even believe me that he had gotten lost in Naas.  It’s seriously unbelieveable…Then when we had arrived home, his brother rang to see if we were okay because a truck had overturned on the road we had just driven down.  All in all, a creepy day!  All that to get some bloody Christmas shopping done!  We got home at around 11pm, exhausted.   But at least we’ve started getting things in for Christmas.  We got our boxes of biscuits and tins of chocolates as well as our boxes of crisps.  It wouldn’t be Christmas without those! 

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A Broody Little Christmas

I’ve spent the day in a Santy hat…of course it’s only 11am or so, I really shouldn’t be complaining.  We put up the tree last night and now suddenly it’s Christmas.  The word tree can be a bit misleading.  It’s a crappy 3ft piece of plastic pretending to be a tree.  It looks pretty though…if the lights are off.  Not because you can’t see it but because the fibre optics, lights and decorations look really well in the dark.  They do.  *nods sagely*

December is really having a wierd effect on us.  We argued over what tree to get yesterday.  What size, what colour, what price and we weren’t even in the same building.  He kept asking me what I wanted, I kept telling him what I wanted and he kept disagreeing with what I wanted.  “Get whatever the fuck you want then!” I shouted at him before hanging up the phone.  He got the one I wanted.  *looks sheepish*

Is it just me or does December make everything irritating?  I think he’s worried I’m pregnant I’m so hormonal at the moment.  I just want to get a move on with everything and he’s all lacksy daisy about it.  I don’t want to do everything on Christmas Eve this year!!  Speaking of being pregnant, I want to be.  He doesn’t want me to be.  Hmm…that’s never happened before so I’m not quite sure what to do about that. 

This time last year I was around 6/7 months pregnant and I was huge.   Nobody thought I’d make it past Christmas, I was seriously ginormous.  Before I gave birth, my skin was starting to wear very, very thin it was so stretched.  Christmas four years ago, I was going through unbelievably bad morning sickness and I spent Christmas day alone.  I couldn’t keep down water at that stage, it was horrible.  So I’m not really sure why I want to be pregnant again when I think about things like that.  Although I’m very sure when I look at my children play together.  Another one would fit in nicely.  I can see Mr. Claire buying me a puppy instead.  He doesn’t like how I look at babies on the telly.  Not my fault I’m permanently broody.  I actually think there is something wrong with me.  I’ve been broody since I was 12…:)

 With that thought….have a great day 😉  I know, I really have to stop talking about Christmas…and babies…and Christmas.  I keep planning on talking about other things but it always comes back to “see above”.  Okay, I want a baby for Christmas.  A puppy would be nice but a poor second.  What is it you want during the holidays this year??

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Topsy Turvy Town

I think that was a Bosco song.  Correct me if I’m wrong.  In case you don’t know Bosco was an obnoxious little puppet that lived in a box and always visited the zoo.  Kids program over here years ago.  I loved it and it came out on dvd last year or the year before.  Class.  He’s (it?) probably the reason I’m the way I am 🙂

 Anyway, I’m over earlier’s little mishap.  Not really but I’m able to write a sentence without swearing so that’s progress mate. 

So, a while ago, I turned on my laptop, ready to face blogland yet again.  It started running fine until it got to the desktop.   Which was upside down.  I sat there for a couple of moments wondering if I was going mad or if somehow my son had manged to twist the screen upside down.  It does twist but not that far.  I restarted the computer.  Same thing again.  Desktop was now upside down land.  W.T.F…?

If Mr. Claire had been here, I would have blamed him in an instant.  Have you ever downloaded those practical joke things that make the mouse go haywire when someone tries to use it and stupid stuff like that?  I used to do that on my old boss.  He thought computers were dangerous as it was without me wrecking his head but it was so funny watching him get freaked out about it.  He could take a joke.  I can’t.  But Mr. Claire was in work so it couldn’t have been down to him. 

I did a system restore thingymabob back to yesterday and everything is okay now, obviously, since I’m writing a post.  But I still don’t know what happened.  Can anyone tell me?  I didn’t even know you could get the desktop to go upside down.  It was so freaky trying to click things off the screen.  Anyway, I want to know how to do it again so I can freak Mr. Claire out next time he uses the laptop.  Things like that baffle him and I don’t really have a whole lot to do since NaNoWriMo ended and my kids went for a nap.  What can I say, I’m easily amused.

Oh, and The Late Late Toy Show is not worth a whole post so I’ll add a little end note here.  The Late Late Show is a longstanding talk show over here that’s on every Friday Night.  It was hosted by Gay Byrne for years and now Pat Kenny has taken over.  Anyway, if you’re a kid it’s the second most boring programme in the universe.  (Live at Three was the worst by far).  But, there is one day every year where they devote the entire show to toys.  Then, it is the best show in the world.  So last Friday was that day (or night). 

The repeat is always on a Sunday afternoon and as I missed the live version, I have the repeat on now.  It’s such a load of crap now.  It’s so….boring.  There’s no atmosphere.  Sure, there’s lots of toys and Christmassy stuff but there’s no happy feeling.  Even my kids got bored and fell asleep rather than watch it.  When I was a kid, it was the best thing in the world.  You’d see all of these lucky kids that were mostly incredibly posh.  There’s always one incredibly common token kid.  They (and sometimes celebrities) would get to test out toys and go on the show and talk about them.  There would be kids dancing and singing and the audience would get lots of free toys.  The catchphrase for the Late Late Show is – “There’s one for everyone in the audience.”  The highlight of this year’s show was a kid saying they didn’t like a boy doll because he had a “you-know-what.”  *Sigh*

The toys are getting better, but it’s still so boring.  I look forward to this every year and I’ll admit, it’s been lacking in the last few years but there’s always some redeeming feature.  Like that little boy who sang “Shout” and was surprised by Girls Aloud behind him.  He was the cutest child.  He made me cry and I still have no idea why.  Can’t find a clip of that unfortunately.  Somethings were as expected.  Pat Kenny wearing a ridiculously ugly jumper.  Toys not working.  Kids getting cheeky.  “You DON’T do it like that!”   Dustin stealing the show…Gerrup outta that!

Maybe I’m just getting too old to enjoy it anymore. 🙂

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I’m a Planner, Baby…

Just have to say that there is one thing about this blog that always manages to amuse me.  Every single day I log on, there are some really wierd ass searches.  Like…she forced me into a nappy.  I feel sorry for people who search for swinging couples only to find my, mostly moany, blog.  One of my favourite things about blogging is seeing what people search for.  It’s great.  I wonder if, when I search for things and find a completely irrelevant blog as the answer, does the blogger think, wtf? why were they looking for that here?  I’m a boring searcher by all accounts.  I look for things like how to fix my f&%king blog when I’ve changed the template by myself.  That sort of thing. 

 I just want to pat myself on the back a little bit.  I finally made a bit of a plan for Christmas and it turns out that for once, I’m not going to be searching down the back of the sofa for a euro on Christmas eve.  Nice one…   I’ve even been saving up for the last few weeks, oh yeah, uh huh.  But then I realised that there’s one significant difference this year.  I’ll have 500euro in the month of December that I didn’t have before.  I do not like my Government but some of the things they do come in handy at times.  Such as the Childcare Allowance.  Regardless of your family situation, anyone with a child under the age of five receives 250 euro four times a year.  I have two which gives me 500euro four times a year.  It’s supposed to give people an incentive and a bit of help paying for childcare so that more families can have two incomes or can get themselves off various benefits.  A grand a year?  Deadly idea. 

But then you remember that childcare can easily cost more than a grand a month per child so it’s not that helpful after all.  But it is a bit of a lifesaver in December as I’m discovering this year.  Funnily enough, paying childcare for two youngsters even with the Childcare Allowance tends to defeat the purpose of working for a lot of people so I won’t be leaving the home until my babies are in school.  Another lifesaver in December is the monthly Children’s Allowance that anyone, regardless of their circumstances, caring for a child under 16 (or up to something like 21 still attending school or college) gets 160euro a month.  That’s 320euro a month for me, sounds great but it’s going towards my ESB bill.  My electricity bill is a killer.  It’s over 200euro even in summer, including the weeks I housesitted for my mother.  I live in a very cold, expensive shithole 🙂

Before anyone bitches about me for spending the Children’s Allowance on myself, just about everything that goes through my hands gets spent on the kids – the lump sum at the beginning of every month is just easier to hand over to pay for a bill than me saving up, trust me, I can’t be trusted to save…

Back to congratulating myself on my Christmas plan…

We’ve pestered most of our family members into telling us what they want. 

Brother Number One (who still hasn’t accepted his 21st birthday present from two months ago…):   “Nothing.  I’d be much happier if you didn’t get me anything.”

My Mother (on behalf of my little 10 year old brother):   “A game is too expensive.  Just get him 10euro credit for the new phone I’ll be getting him for Christmas.”

My Mother (on behalf of herself):   “10euro for my paypal account.”

 Me (after I tore my hair out in exasperation):   “Ah, come off it!  For f&%k’s sake, just tell me what yis want.  For the Love of God, TELL ME!”

Them (with evil grins on their faces):  Repeat above statements.

I know they’re trying to be nice.  I know they keep telling me I have my own kids to look after but that is not the point!  His family aren’t shy about giving a list, I’d just like a little bit of help with my side, just a little.  What is my mother like asking for 10euro into her paypal account for Christmas? 

So, I made out my own list of what to get them.  The people I haven’t got a clue of will be getting vouchers, yes vouchers.  Particularly as one younger member of his family asked for money to gamble with on Stephen’s Day.  Not bloody likely – that’s Mr. Claire saying that, not me.   Who is a hypocrite by the way because he won money on a racehorse at the weekend…

But I picked a certain amount of gifts for my babies too, didn’t go too mad.  Not really.  I have a rough idea of how much I’ll need and I think that I’m going to make it through Christmas this year (without panicking or freaking out too much).   If you ever spent Christmas near me, you would know how much of an accomplishment this is.  🙂  Can’t wait to send Mr. Claire out go shopping!

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Mobiles and Decorations

Oops, I got into trouble yesterday.  Apparently I scared people because my phone was switched off and I wasn’t online.  I must spend a lot of time online if people think I’m dead because I haven’t checked my emails.  This is what I hate about mobile phones and the like.  You can’t get any peace.  I’m lazy about charging my phone because I always forget what the charger looks like so it’s a bit of a hassle trying to find it.  I don’t switch it off on purpose – the battery just goes on me a lot.  Like every day, stupid rubbish battery.

So anyways, I got a bit of a lecture about it, felt about ten years old and it isn’t the first time either!!  If I don’t check my bebo page often, I end up getting private mail asking what’s wrong.  When I see my family they moan at me for appearing offline on msn. I always do that and forget to take it off when I see a family member online. It bugs them because they don’t know if I’m not ok or if I’m online and just ignoring them…I’m not, I swear 🙂

In future I’m just going to make sure I keep the damn phone on. To be fair I get worried when I try and ring someone and their phone is switched off or if I mail my brother and I don’t get a reply for a few days so yet again I’m a hypocrite. I know this.

As for yesterday, I spent it getting in the Christmas spirit. My son wanted to watch Transformers. His Dad bought the dvd series AND the old film for himself and doesn’t even pretend it’s for the kid. Anyway, I said no, let’s watch something else cos I was in the humour of something Christmassy. So, I put on The Santa Clause 2 (we watched it twice *sigh*) and he kept yelling Santy all the way through it. Good thing I haven’t bought new decorations yet or I would have put them up yesterday. I was all Tis the Season… I’m sort of afraid to go to my mother’s house because she puts decorations up very early. I’m scared she might outdo herself this year. She’s a bit of a mad one when it comes to decorations and lights and all that jazz. She decorates for everything, even Valentines Day. I used to be embarrassed to bring anyone into the house when I was younger, just in case they thought that was insane. 🙂

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Santy Is Chasing Me, Leggit!

People keep telling me how many days and weeks it is until Christmas.  I keep ignoring them.  People are mean.  Big….meanies.  I don’t want to know it’s nearly Christmas.  I don’t want to know that I’m not prepared.  I don’t want to know that I won’t be prepared even if I start shopping now.  This very second.  It won’t make an iota of a difference.  I’m already screwed. 

 Every ad break panics me a little bit more.  In the evenings, every second ad is for a child’s toy, an expensive one, like a lifesize doll house that could realistically not fit comfortably in most homes.  My home is not most homes, a normal sized doll house wouldn’t fit in this hole.  During the day, every single ad is for a child’s toy.  I dread it when my son wants to watch Spongebob because the ads on Nickelodeon hypnotise him into a wide eyed trance only to be broken by the sound of his drool hitting the floor.

 I would spoil my son if I could.  By a lot of people’s standards he is spoiled but I mean really spoil him.  If I had the room, I would buy him a room full of toys for Christmas but the more I buy, the more his favourite toys need to move on elsewhere.  For his first Christmas, we bought everything, even though he was only 5 months old because it was his First Christmas.  For his second Christmas, we bought everything because it was the First Christmas He Could Walk.  For his third Christmas, we bought him everything because it was The Last Christmas He Would Be An Only Child.  We always find an excuse.  This year he will be three, his new sister will be 10 months at Christmas.  So, it will be her First Christmas, her First Christmas She Could Walk and his First Christmas As A Big Brother and First Christmas He Was Potty-Trained.

This puts pressure on me.  A lot of it.  Because I am the one that has to watch him every day.  And her for that matter.  I have to watch his big blue eyes light up at the sight of every single ad break, have to hear him get completely hyper because he is looking through a toy catalogue.  It is I who has to figure out what toys he likes the best when he seems to be completely, head over heels with every single one.  It’s tiring.  I always need to pick presents that aren’t too big. 

I have no idea what I’m getting my daughter.  It won’t matter because she will be only interested in the toys her brother has anyway.  I’m definitely getting her a doll of some sort because I’m pretty sick of playing trains and running around the flat pretending I’m a car.  Yes, you heard me, I play.  My son even gets me to sit on his trike while he stands in the basket/carrier thing at the back and makes me push us around.  I can’t use the pedals…I’m small but I’m not that small.  Mr. Claire has often caught my son and I looking guilty because we both know I’m far too grown up to be cycling a trike around in a tiny circle with my son whooping on the back of it.

Yesterday, we discovered that my son had broken  my digital camera.  I am upset about that because that means I won’t have one by Christmas more than likely.  But it gave me a kickass idea.  I’m going to get my son one of those kids digital cameras that you can bate off the walls and it won’t break.  It better not break anway, that’s all I’m saying.  Not looking at any toymakers in particular.  It’s perfect for his obsession with taking photos of his feet, my hair, his Thomas the Tank Engine trains and the television.  He’ll have great fun trying to take pictures of everyone during Christmas.  Hopefully not me.  Maybe I can set up some sort of drunken blackmail scheme with the help of my 3 year old and his toy camera, help pay for him to go to college.  So his “big” present will actually be something small.  Unless he discovers that sending a letter to Santy could nab him something cooler and louder and bigger and more expensive. 

I’ve already gotten a lecture from “Granny” threatening me to bring him to see Santy this year.  *Guilty Secret No. 1,000,931 – I have never brought my son to see Santy*  I’m sorry about that, I meant to but the time just started speeding up until it was already Christmas and I had no money left!  I hate when people tell me to do something that I already know I should be doing.  It does nothing but make me feel guilty.   So…I guess it serves its purpose, damnit.

Does anyone else use Feedburner by the way?  I know that’s drastically off topic but it’s pissing me the hell off.  It’s not working right at all.  Nobody’s feeds seem to be updating and if they don’t update I forget about them unless I see them around somewhere and that’s so irritating.  I end up missing out on something important, or funny, or, I don’t know, just stuff.  I like reading people’s blogs in the order they write them and I just want to know if it’s just my problem or if everyone is finding it dodgy lately. 

 By the way, Merry poxy Christmas.  🙂

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