Archive for Random

I.Q Tests

Having mentioned recently that I felt like I was stupider…since I had children, I decided to put it to the test and take an I.Q. test.  In fairness, I did a free one online so it doesn’t really count but I was disgusted surprised by the results.  I am stupider!!!  I mean, more stupid….or something…I took an I.Q. test (can’t remember which one, Mensa or Stanford-Binet, doesn’t really matter) before I had children when I was about 19 or 20, I scored quite high in the gifted zone.  Shocking, I know…but before you faint, my recent test revealed I was now in the above average percentage…and very barely at that.  What I mean is, I guessed a lot fluked getting into that category, trust me!  Plus they say that online tests are overly generous with their scores so I dread to think how little my brain cells are worth these days!

My scores were then divided into categories.  Apparently I scored highly in both verbal communication and short term memory.  Um…I can’t verbally communicate with anyone and I have absolutely no short term memory to speak of.  Something is very wrong here…Although people good at this crap are meant to be good at things like writing so woo!   I scored shockingly low in the Mathematics section.  That’s scary because once upon a time I was very good at Maths.  My old Math teacher would be furious that it’s now my poorest area because she used to pride herself that Maths was best subject.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was wrong, sorry Miss!!

Why does this happen?  Is it because I’m now only using my brain to learn Tweenie songs, Wiggles Dance Routines and Hi5 skits?  Is it because I don’t test my brain beyond the realm of blogging?  Why has intelligence forsaken me, why?!  I have to admit that of all the things that happen when you are a parent, it’s the stupidity that gets to me the most.  I hate feeling stupid.  I hate that my brain doesn’t work as fast as it used to.  It’s like it hit it’s peak in my teens and after that it’s been downhill.  I’ve always been great at grammar, spelling and punctuation, give it to me straight, my writing is a load of bollox now, isn’t it?  I feel like this is how senility must kick in except a billion times worse.  I don’t want to live through that, seriously.  I’m having a hard enough time as it is coping with not being able to string a coherant sentence together without that on my shoulders too.   I used to be smart.  I used to know a lot.  What the hell happened to me?!  Oh, yes, that’s right, I had two kids and apparently donated my brain to them…

I don’t read as much as I used to because I can’t take in as much unless the words are seriously enthralling.  I can’t remember what people tell me.  I can’t take in simple information easily.  I space out…a lot!  I constantly repeat myself and forget who told me what, leading to a lot of repetitive conversations with frustrated people.  I can’t work out complicated sums in my head anymore.  I need to write that shit down, I feel so SLOW!!  

I’m disgusted with myself for letting myself go so much.  Losing my brain means a lot more to me than losing my tiny figure.  I said goodbye to being too small for a size 8 a loooong time ago.  I’ve made my peace with that…it’s the ‘oul brain slowing down that I can’t get with.  Grey hairs, wrinkles, love handles, I can live with all of that no bother but I’m really worried about my mind.  I make Mr. Claire buy me books, novels, history, biology, law, anything he can get his hands on…but I just can’t take it in like I used to and to be honest that scares me.  It doesn’t feel…normal.   Imagine if I started night classes like I had planned.  I would be so behind everybody else.  I just couldn’t deal with being the slow one.

I have serious problems with this because being smart is all I’ve ever been sure of.  Now that’s gone, I’m left with…quirky, at best.  That manages to both suck and blow at the exact same time.  I even forget the things that I have learned.  I really hate that feeling that I once knew this stuff so well and now I can’t manage to form one single fact on it.  Blah!

Enough about me…what is it that you’ve lost that you can’t live with?  Have you lost some brain cells since you gave birth?  Did you wake up one day and realise that you were no longer the hot young thing that everyone was jealous of?    I’ve never been funny, witty, popular or droolicious so losing my intelligence is the end of the world, how can I ever go on?!  Apart from the fact that I have two incredibly beautiful, entertaining, healthy children to live for, of course 😉  Seriously though, how did you cope when you realized that the person you believed you still were, was no longer looking back at you in the mirror?


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Lucky Mix

Do you know what my favourite things were when I was a kid?  Okay, one of them anyway.  Lucky Bags!  They were so not worth it but I loved them!  The title just gave me a flashback of them, sorry!

 I have to say a couple of things today!  I was on Cavantucky and was directed to a Google alternative.  If you want a more Irish feel to your searches please try Doogle, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on!   Pleeeeeease take a look at it, pleeeeeease 😉

Next on the agenda is Cardiogirl!  If you haven’t already, check out her blog and take a little look and a listen to the audio comment widget.  I beg of you, leave a voice message!!  I got such a kick out of that thing yesterday, I’m lovin’ it!  I was so hyper yesterday and I still haven’t calmed down!

 I can’t even think straight now, I completely forget what I had intended to blog about.  You lucky things, you!  Erm…OH!!  Mr. Claire is sort of hinting at coming around to the baby thing, of course you all will be the first to know 😉  I don’t mind waiting a little longer for Number Three though so I won’t be mad if he still wants to wait a while.  Um…The Princess now has eight teeth, four teeth came down together, the poor little thing and The Little Man has now decided that Spiderman boxer shorts and a pink hairband are stylin’!

So, that’s all for now…if I remember what the hell I was going to post, I might do another waffle session later.  Take care everyone, hope you all have a beautiful day 😉

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Topsy Turvy Town

I think that was a Bosco song.  Correct me if I’m wrong.  In case you don’t know Bosco was an obnoxious little puppet that lived in a box and always visited the zoo.  Kids program over here years ago.  I loved it and it came out on dvd last year or the year before.  Class.  He’s (it?) probably the reason I’m the way I am 🙂

 Anyway, I’m over earlier’s little mishap.  Not really but I’m able to write a sentence without swearing so that’s progress mate. 

So, a while ago, I turned on my laptop, ready to face blogland yet again.  It started running fine until it got to the desktop.   Which was upside down.  I sat there for a couple of moments wondering if I was going mad or if somehow my son had manged to twist the screen upside down.  It does twist but not that far.  I restarted the computer.  Same thing again.  Desktop was now upside down land.  W.T.F…?

If Mr. Claire had been here, I would have blamed him in an instant.  Have you ever downloaded those practical joke things that make the mouse go haywire when someone tries to use it and stupid stuff like that?  I used to do that on my old boss.  He thought computers were dangerous as it was without me wrecking his head but it was so funny watching him get freaked out about it.  He could take a joke.  I can’t.  But Mr. Claire was in work so it couldn’t have been down to him. 

I did a system restore thingymabob back to yesterday and everything is okay now, obviously, since I’m writing a post.  But I still don’t know what happened.  Can anyone tell me?  I didn’t even know you could get the desktop to go upside down.  It was so freaky trying to click things off the screen.  Anyway, I want to know how to do it again so I can freak Mr. Claire out next time he uses the laptop.  Things like that baffle him and I don’t really have a whole lot to do since NaNoWriMo ended and my kids went for a nap.  What can I say, I’m easily amused.

Oh, and The Late Late Toy Show is not worth a whole post so I’ll add a little end note here.  The Late Late Show is a longstanding talk show over here that’s on every Friday Night.  It was hosted by Gay Byrne for years and now Pat Kenny has taken over.  Anyway, if you’re a kid it’s the second most boring programme in the universe.  (Live at Three was the worst by far).  But, there is one day every year where they devote the entire show to toys.  Then, it is the best show in the world.  So last Friday was that day (or night). 

The repeat is always on a Sunday afternoon and as I missed the live version, I have the repeat on now.  It’s such a load of crap now.  It’s so….boring.  There’s no atmosphere.  Sure, there’s lots of toys and Christmassy stuff but there’s no happy feeling.  Even my kids got bored and fell asleep rather than watch it.  When I was a kid, it was the best thing in the world.  You’d see all of these lucky kids that were mostly incredibly posh.  There’s always one incredibly common token kid.  They (and sometimes celebrities) would get to test out toys and go on the show and talk about them.  There would be kids dancing and singing and the audience would get lots of free toys.  The catchphrase for the Late Late Show is – “There’s one for everyone in the audience.”  The highlight of this year’s show was a kid saying they didn’t like a boy doll because he had a “you-know-what.”  *Sigh*

The toys are getting better, but it’s still so boring.  I look forward to this every year and I’ll admit, it’s been lacking in the last few years but there’s always some redeeming feature.  Like that little boy who sang “Shout” and was surprised by Girls Aloud behind him.  He was the cutest child.  He made me cry and I still have no idea why.  Can’t find a clip of that unfortunately.  Somethings were as expected.  Pat Kenny wearing a ridiculously ugly jumper.  Toys not working.  Kids getting cheeky.  “You DON’T do it like that!”   Dustin stealing the show…Gerrup outta that!

Maybe I’m just getting too old to enjoy it anymore. 🙂

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F*%king WordPress!

I just wrote out a great big long post, complete with a lot of links.  I pressed publish and it fucking well disappeared.  I hate you WordPress you fecking….Aarrgh!!  This is the second time that’s happened this week!!  Stupid fucking pointless waste of time.  Okay, I’m going to have a bit of a sulk about it now.  Maybe if I’m feeling better, I’ll do a proper post.  AGAIN!!!  I’ve lost way too much stuff this week, I’m getting increasingly cranky with it.

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Tattoos and Crushes

I realized yesterday that I think tattoos are hot.  No, wait, bear with me here.  It was sort of like an epiphany the way it hit me.  It crept up on me and now I’m surprised by it.  I know you’re either thinking “bit slow on the uptake there Cláreen, I figured that out years ago” or else “ew, you must be sick in the head love…”

I don’t have any tattoos but I’ve always been fascinated by them.  I’ve been thinking about what tattoo I want for over ten years now.  I still can’t decide.  I thought they were pretty…artwork…if done the way I like them.  I’m not saying I like every tattoo, just good ones.   I know that’s cleared things up for you 🙂  I always appreciated the work that goes into them but I never realized that I thought of them as sexy.  Which is stupid AND obvious.  Because I knew I drooled over this picture…

Freddie Ljungberg

Yet I knew that I’ve never found Freddie Ljungberg in the least bit attractive before.  See that panther.   Mr. Claire has that on his arm.  I love it.  He also has a celtic cross on his shoulder and mine and the kid’s names on his back.  I love all of his tattoos.   He’s talking about his next one.  If he started going mad and wanted a tattoo vest thing, I’d be like hell no but I don’t think he would anyway.  Like me he appreciates the beauty and work of something like that but he doesn’t want it on himself.    I asked him to get one on the inside of his arm next time (I have a thing for his arms)  and he said he would get one on his bicep instead (I have a thing for his biceps) and that I could pick what he got.  That might be a mistake 🙂

Um…I just felt like adding this one…

I spent ages today looking at tattoo galleries (for me) trying to find something that made me want to run to a tattoo parlour like five minutes ago.  But I didn’t and I probably won’t ever because I am terrified I won’t be able to handle the pain.  Mr. Claire reckons I wouldn’t sit there and let them do it.  “But I gave birth before.  Twice!”  He just chuckles to himself.  “Okay hon.”  That scares the crap outta me.  My mother and my grandmother would probably give me a bit of an earful about it even if I did.

But I’ve really always wanted one.  When I was aroud 14-16, I wanted a shamrock, L.F.C., my name, stars, a ying-yang symbol, a butterfly, a flower (lily/orchid/rose), even a freaking unicorn.  I’d still quite like a shamrock though, and maybe a star or two…a butterfly would be cute…my children’s names would be sweet…see how I still dither about it?  I saw a pretty “tramp stamp” (who comes up with these names?) that had butterflies AND shamrocks today but I wouldn’t get one on my back.  If I get a tattoo, I want to be able to see it!

Enough about that, back to me thinking tattoos are hot.  I get crushes.  I admit it.  I’m fully grown.  Have two children.  Yet I still get crushes.  But when I say I have a crush, it just means that I like to look at them, a lot…see LL Cool J photo above 🙂  Always on famous people though.  Which is handy because they’re always on that box we like to call a telly.  I have this thing where I don’t think much of a famous person, then I see them in a t-shirt or something.  They have a tattoo and I’m like *wipes drool* hmm, they are not so bad after all…

Mr.Claire thinks it’s funny, especially because I have a bit of wierd taste in men.  I mean I like obvious people such as Johnny Depp (of course)…but then I also have a crush on Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs (love that band btw) even though I have no idea if he has any tattoos and I have a long term crush on Tom Selleck 🙂  I could let you in on some really embarrassing crushes but I’ve waffled about nothing for too long today!  I’m pretty sure I’m too old to be getting crushes…isn’t that type of thing supposed to stop when you’re a teenager?  NOW I understand why my mother always had a Robbie Williams poster up in our kitchen when I was a kid…well, sort of understand….:)

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Personal Blogs

I’ve been wondering when personal blogging gets too personal.  Is that even possible?  My last post was pretty personal yet I still held back a good deal.  I was completely honest but there were things that I just couldn’t put into words.  It’s made me wonder whether getting a bit personal is a good idea or not.  There are lots of things I’d love to say to people, not say to them, more like talk about with them but they aren’t willing to talk about those things so I’m left with them floating around in my head.   Let’s just say it’s not good to leave Claire with things floating around in her head…

 I have a bebo page with some short stories on it.  Just a couple of random short stories I typed out at one stage.  I had planned on leaving it at that because they were a bit rubbish and I feel uncomfortable about people reading my stuff although I still leave the link in places, I don’t really think things through…  Even with my blogs, I feel nervous when I post on my blogs…I get anxious about people reading my opinions.  The same goes for when I leave comments, I tend to feel horrible and I don’t know really know why.   Short stories – yeah, so I decided to leave them at that then one day, I had a little bit of a memory and I picked up the keyboard as quick as possible, opened Word and wrote this really personal memory down and…posted it on the Internet for the world to see. 

 I should take it down…I know I should, the story would have consequences if the wrong person read it but I’m a bit stubborn about it.  I guess when I’ve been told to shut up about things for so long, eventually I have to do something about it.   Even something silly and pointless.  It’s not that the details within the story are so bad…they are really small and pretty much vague glimpses of a bigger picture but if I was capable of sharing little glimpses, then maybe I would be capable of sharing all of the details too.  I’m torn between feeling guilty and stubborn.  I should be able to say these things but people could get hurt from them and a lot of time has passed for so many things, would there really be a point in bringing them up now?  Even when nobody is listening?

I even hold back when I write stories that nobody else is ever going to see.  That can’t be right…I find it very difficult to write about things that have actually happened in my life but surely that should be the easiest thing of all to write about.  I don’t know why I have such a block about it but even though I know full well I’m the only one who will see it, I still just can’t get the words out.   I suppose that’s partly why I’m so surprised (and so stubborn) about that certain story.

I sometimes wonder why I could leave that particular story where it is and yet still never talk about really personal things on my blogs.   Some small part of me wants very badly to tell the world about certain things and the rest of me really wants to protect people from it.  I have always been full of contradictions, I realise that but maybe I’ve had too much time to mull things over lately because a lot of stuff has been playing on my mind.

There are some things that I’m really, truely, endlessly sad about and would love to talk about with people but what would be the point?  Nobody can take things away or make things better so why burden other people with problems that can’t be resolved?  Sometimes I think that nobody can ever say the right thing when a person has something inside that’s constantly there that makes them hurt.  Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a serious illness or being the victim of abuse or any other sort of problem, millions of people go through really bad things in life but do any of them ever know what to say to someone else?

Yes, yesterday’s post was personal but it was all about me.  It was all about my wrong doings, my mistakes.  If I were to write about a lot of the things I want to say, I would have to point out the mistakes of others and is it up to me to do that?  I don’t think so.  I would be shaming people anonymously but I don’t think that’s really the issue.  Maybe I don’t have the right to tell my stories because they are other people’s stories as well.  That’s the thing about personal blogs, where is the line that you’re not supposed to cross?  Is getting personal a bad thing?

I really enjoyed writing that post yesterday though and the 7 random facts post too.  Even though I’m questioning myself today about getting personal, it was really nice to share some things with you all.  Thanks for reading through yet another waffley post…I’ll try and learn to be concise some day…;)

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Mobiles and Decorations

Oops, I got into trouble yesterday.  Apparently I scared people because my phone was switched off and I wasn’t online.  I must spend a lot of time online if people think I’m dead because I haven’t checked my emails.  This is what I hate about mobile phones and the like.  You can’t get any peace.  I’m lazy about charging my phone because I always forget what the charger looks like so it’s a bit of a hassle trying to find it.  I don’t switch it off on purpose – the battery just goes on me a lot.  Like every day, stupid rubbish battery.

So anyways, I got a bit of a lecture about it, felt about ten years old and it isn’t the first time either!!  If I don’t check my bebo page often, I end up getting private mail asking what’s wrong.  When I see my family they moan at me for appearing offline on msn. I always do that and forget to take it off when I see a family member online. It bugs them because they don’t know if I’m not ok or if I’m online and just ignoring them…I’m not, I swear 🙂

In future I’m just going to make sure I keep the damn phone on. To be fair I get worried when I try and ring someone and their phone is switched off or if I mail my brother and I don’t get a reply for a few days so yet again I’m a hypocrite. I know this.

As for yesterday, I spent it getting in the Christmas spirit. My son wanted to watch Transformers. His Dad bought the dvd series AND the old film for himself and doesn’t even pretend it’s for the kid. Anyway, I said no, let’s watch something else cos I was in the humour of something Christmassy. So, I put on The Santa Clause 2 (we watched it twice *sigh*) and he kept yelling Santy all the way through it. Good thing I haven’t bought new decorations yet or I would have put them up yesterday. I was all Tis the Season… I’m sort of afraid to go to my mother’s house because she puts decorations up very early. I’m scared she might outdo herself this year. She’s a bit of a mad one when it comes to decorations and lights and all that jazz. She decorates for everything, even Valentines Day. I used to be embarrassed to bring anyone into the house when I was younger, just in case they thought that was insane. 🙂

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