Posts tagged love

My Daughter’s First Steps

I didn’t intend for this to become a “Mammy” blog but everything that occurs in my life is Mammy related so what did I expect to happen?  I have two beautiful, amazing children.  My son is 3 and my daughter is 8 months.  I wanted another child so that my son wouldn’t be alone and that was a great choice especially now when I watch them playing together, him teaching her everything he knows.  I did worry that nothing she did would ever be special because he had gotten there before her.  He was the first great grandchild, the first grandchild for both sides of the family, the first to walk, speak, etc.

 But my daughter had other ideas, she was going to outshine him in everyway so even  though she did it all second, there was no way we could forget it.  She said her first word and sat up at five months.  She now says mama, dada, baba and hi.   She can wave.  She can do lots of amazing things that I will remember when she has her own children, regardless of what number child she is.  If I have five children, I’m now sure that I will remember everything they do first, just like I’m now sure that I’ll love each of them with all of my heart.  While I was pregnant, I worried that there was no way I could love two people with the same intensity that I felt for my son.  I’m so happy I was wrong.

 Ah, yes, the reason I started this post.  My daughter took her first tentative steps today.  Without holding on to anything, at 8 months old, she walked and she LOVED it.  The lot of us sat there chanting her name, encouraging her and she was determined to repeat the process.  Then my son took her by the hands and made her run around the room, that was funny, if a little nervewracking, he can be a bit clumsy with her!  He  walked at 11months which was pretty damn amazing especially considering he was premature.  I love this.  I love being a Mammy.  I love how this means the world to me.  I love how I will tell everyone I know about it and they will all feign interest while silently wishing I would shut the hell up.  Isn’t it great being a Mammy?

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5th Anniversary

Yesterday was my fifth anniversary.  Seems like I’ve been pregnant for half of it 🙂

It got me thinking about when we met.  I knew straight off I would be with him for a long time but what if he hadn’t felt the same?  Where would I be now?  I don’t know if I believe in fate but if one small thing changed, I may never have met the father of my children, I would never have had my children, I’d be a completely different person.  It’s kinda scary thinking about how something small could have changed everything.

He often tells me how he used to be before he met me.  He met up with people he had been talking to online or had gotten in contact with through a wrong number a lot.  He would arrange to meet up with these girls, check them out from the distance and leave if he didn’t like what he saw.  He would text the girl saying something like thanks for being late, I’m not talking to you now and she would never hear from him again.  I know, what a tosser he was back then.

 If he did that to me, I would have been sick, that’s pretty awful.  But say that did happen with us, I dread to think how my life would be now.  I don’t think I would have children.  I’d probably be working and living alone.  I don’t know why he suddenly changed when he met me, maybe he got tired of messing around and wanted something more.  I know that I changed too.  I hated getting close to people before that, I never gave anyone second chances, I didn’t like seeing the same people every single day.   Then I met him and suddenly I was prepared to let him have the last word (sometimes) and we have rarely been apart ever since. 

It sounds strange now I’m saying it but it does seem like it was meant to be.  Right place, right time, right person…Everything has worked out, even the bad things that happened along the way.  I was with him for less than a year when a friend of mine committed suicide.  I didn’t take it well and if it hadn’t been for him, I don’t think I would have gotten through it.  Nobody else knew what to do with me, that’s for sure! 🙂  I’ll stop being sappy now, I’ll just say I’m thankful for fate, destiny, guardian angels, whatever or whoever it was that led us on the same path.

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